Introducing the Beez'

The Beez in his home town
Hans Bezemer in his home town, where he finally settled down after an eventful life.

Well, you probably wonder who made all this possible. Let us introduce you to "the Beez'". No, of course that is not his real name! But whether you pronounce it in English or in Dutch, it always sounds a bit like "beast". Mr. Bezemer earned this nickname by uprooting parties and laughing like thunder.

In real life, Mr. Bezemer is pretty harmless. Always mumbling something like "yacc, drop, lex, awk". Don't pay any attention. This is quite normal; he's just in verbose mode. If you attempt to have a conversation with Mr. Bezemer (which experienced users will discourage), you will probably be lectured in the latest algorithms of his newest program.

Consequently, Mr. Bezemer was happily married to Susie, a 2.8 GHz P4 equipped with 1 GB RAM running Linux 2.6.8 until Agnes came along, a beautiful, darkhaired Francaise who was actually able to tear him away from his keyboard for any length of time without starting a devastating row. Since his laptop has been stolen twice, he now prefers to write his documentation in the safety and comfort of his own home.

If you find Mr. Bezemer in an extremely good mood, there are a few possibilities:

  1. He has just finished writing his columns for 2010.
  2. 4tH is now running twice as fast.
  3. Microsoft is bankrupt and its assets were bought by Red Hat for the symbolic amount of $1.
  4. He has just updated a profile of himself on the Web with a high "tongue-in-cheek" content.

After careful observation we found that Mr. Bezemer's private life is a bit more complex. Apart from his blogs, columns and articles he also writes poetry and prose, based on his experiences in Berlin before and after the fall of the Wall. He published his first book in 2001 and co-authored "Wild Child in the City of Light".

His favorite writers are Charles Bukowski, Leonard Cohen and Jerzy Kosinski. He has seen "Wings of desire", "Jaws", "Apocalypse Now", "9½ Weeks", "2010", "Koyaanisqatsi", "Vertigo" and "The search for Spock" a zillion times. Apart from the Doors he listens to Beethoven, Cesar Franck, Vivaldi, the Rainbirds, Wendy Carlos, Tangerine Dream, Portishead, Nico, Barbara Thalheim, Ina Deter, John Carpenter, Philip Glass, Leonard Cohen, Rammstein and Billy Holiday.

He occasionally watches TV. The only theatre show Mr. Bezemer ever liked was "Hexenkessel" by Romy Haag.